This is NOT a porn blog! So this is actually safe for work. This is an actual blog where I will post up entries about life particularly the life I'm living as a gay cub. Hope you all enjoy!! (:
Recently, OkCupid, a popular internet dating website, placed an open letter for users of Mozilla Firefox. In that letter, OkCupid wishes Mozilla “nothing but failure” for recently appointed CEO, Brendan Eich.
Eich donated $1,000 to the campaign of Proposition 8 from California, a ballot measure which sought to ban same-sex marriage. The proposition did pass and was recently over-turned by the Supreme Court, ruling it as unconstitutional back in August 2013.
OkCupid went on to state:
“This is why: we’ve devoted the last ten years to bringing people—all people—together. If individuals like Mr. Eich had their way, then roughly 8% of the relationships we’ve worked so hard to bring about would be illegal. Equality for gay relationships is personally important to many of us here at OkCupid. But it’s professionally important to the entire company. OkCupid is for creating love. Those who seek to deny love and instead enforce misery, shame, and frustration are our enemies, and we wish them nothing but failure.”
A lot of people have been looking at this as a silly gesture, but those critics are not even gay, they are heterosexuals!
They do not know what it’s like to wake up every morning in fear of being harassed, bullied, tormented, and even killed for being born the way they are!
They take marriage for granted! They don’t get stares or name calls for holding hands with their love. They don’t get bullied for kissing their loves in public. They don’t get denied basic services for being married!
They didn’t have to live in fear growing up that their families would ostracize them for falling in love.
Would they have the same reaction if Eich had donated funds to a campaign that sought to deny legal rights for African Americans? Asians? Latinos? Christians? Muslims? Catholics? Would they simply react as nonchalant as they are with gays being discriminated?
Homosexuality isn’t a lifestyle choice or alternative lifestyle, it’s a life.
So yes, I do applaud OkCupid for taking a stand against the new CEO who probably still may harbor the same feelings for homosexuals. Is it a major blow? No. It’s a simple gesture on part of OkCupid but a huge gesture nonetheless.
I cannot feel comfortable using a product offered by someone who has helped in a campaign to deny me a chance to one day be married.
**NOTE: This will contain NO spoilers. It is just my thoughts and feelings on the final episode of “How I Met Your Mother”
For weeks, there has been speculation on whether the Mother actually dies. Now, I’ll let you watch it. See for yourself.
The finale had me emotionally drained. I cried and bawled for a good few minutes and was definitely shocked on the reason why Ted told the story.
Honestly, I wish the show was given at least another episode to fully flesh out the final episode of the series to gain a sense of closure. However, the situation made me feel like the last season was completely pointless.
If the way Ted ends up with the certain character in the very end, then why waste an entire season on the wedding?
Those episodes could have been used to fully spend time with Ted and the Mother before flash forwarding to final scene with Ted.
Now, I am satisfied with the way they close the storylines for Marshall and Lily, as well as Barney.
Still, in defence of the ending the daughter points out how a nice point about Ted’s narrative. Specifically on how Ted spent his time on one particular character.
I understand this rationale. I do know what it’s like to lose the one that got away only to be given a second chance at love.
Love works mysteriously and sometimes it may not make sense to everyone else but if it makes sense to you, then that’s what matters.
Love does conquer in the end. Isn’t that all you could ask for?
Many say to express yourself.
They sing to be proud of yourself.
All this while the world wants you
To love yourself.
How do you start?
How could you possibly love yourself?
Especially when the world hasn’t loved you back.
You grew up never feeling love, you grew up thinking you might be loved, but you never felt it.
You never knew what it’s like to be special.
Or to know what it’s like to be fought for.
You’re always the one doing,
When everyone else gladly takes it.
Not a single soul ever tried to return it back.
So how do you love yourself when you never knew what love is?
It sounds like a distant relative,
But you’d never be close to them.
After many failed attempts at finding love….
Makes you wonder if you’re even worth
Receiving love at all.
Maybe the closest to happiness I’ll find
Is if I’m at least acknowledged.
So recently I went with my boyfriend to attend his sister’s wedding, and during the ceremony I heard a classic sermon about love.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
This stuck with me because given my history with my failed relationships and my history with family, I never really understood love. I never knew what it’s like to be loved.
I know that love is also a situation where you give and take, but what good does it do to always give and never take? You give all of yourself and when you don’t take it’s usually because there is nothing given to take.
Usually it goes that my boyfriend claims to love me but ultimately ends up just using me, trying to change me, or loving the relationship and not myself.
Not one relationship I had lasted more than 3 months. Not a single one. I try to figure out why, and I know I’ve had my faults and errors, but in the end my ex’s just didn’t try. I always gave 100% and they gave maybe around 10%.
I’m not asking to be showered in gifts, attention, or romance but some helps!
I do want a marriage. I do want a monogamous, committed husband who will only be crazy about me when we’re old and still be as in love like when we first got together. It’s a dream, but I want it!
A lot of people grow up working towards a fancy car, a big mansion, fine clothes, but I grow up wanting love.
What is love?
Love can be many things, but for me it means trying because you want to. Making that effort for someone without being asked to. Showing someone how much you appreciate them.
You need someone because you love that person. They don’t complete you, they make you better than you already are. They accept you, not tolerate you.
I hope my current relationship lasts longer than 3 months but I can’t tell him to love me if he doesn’t feel it.
Every failed relationship helps me understand myself more, and has taught me how to know when I’m loved and how to love even more.
If one day he tells me he doesn’t have feelings for me, I will let him go. As much as I love him, I just want him happy even if it is not with me in the end.
For now, I continue my search for the one. But more importantly the one who will for once love me back.
I look up to Superman because he is the greatest hero ever. Not only was he the first comic book hero, he has the strongest powers. He uses his powers for justice and peace. Superman does not have to be the world’s greatest superhero, nor does he have to do anything. He chooses to use his powers for good!
A lot of readers disregard him a lot because he isn’t “edgy” enough, or that he is simply a Boy Scout that is a goody two shoes. But what is wrong with being a goody goody? With all the suffering, corruption, injustice, and crime in this world we need Superman. We need people to stand up for what is right and not take the law into their own hands.
Superman always works within the law and never takes it upon himself to be executioner. He believes in the morals of democracy in letting the people try the accused to face a just punishment.
So I do proudly wear his shirts and look up to him to guide me to do good for the better of everyone, not just myself. As Superman, I can take as many “punches” as I can so that someone else doesn’t have to suffer.
Though as much as I feel powerful in a sense, insecurities become my single kryptonite. They stop me and make me believe I am truly weak, insignificant, stupid, ugly, and a fool. Think the worst things about yourself and Insecurity amplifies them by ten to make you believe the rest of the world thinks the same of you.
Though you know there is nothing Superman can’t overcome, Insecurity can make you feel as though you are less of a man.
You know it’s irrational to let Insecurity get the best of you!
But perhaps Insecurity weakens you to the point of endless sorrow because you grew up never knowing how to defeat it.
You were always considered ordinary, nothing special but your intelligence was the only thing that made you stand out. That was until you met acquaintances who were smarter than you by miles! Now you feel insignificant so you try your best to be Superman.
Insecurity caused your relationships to be toxic, making you second guess your potential lovers. Insecurity manipulates you to believe that no one will ever love you or want you.
He mocks, “Try all you want Superman! No one loves you! No one wants you!”
Perhaps there is a reason why Superman has the Justice League. They help him realize his inner strength and his worth.
My Justice League consists of close friends, relatives, and my brother. They may not tell me that I’m worthy of love, but their respect and treatment speak volumes on how they view me. They trust me. They turn to me for help. That is truly a blessing.
But the single greatest member of my Justice League is my Batman. My boyfriend has made me feel beyond greater than Superman and the fact that he chose me and wants to be with me makes me feel great! I may be over emotional at times and I know I bug him, but the fact that he can put up with me and still love me makes me feel awesome! My Batman deserves the best treatment, if not better!
I look back to my accomplishments so far and then look forward to my goals and dreams to help me give the fatal blow to Insecurity!
It’s an ongoing war, but I keep winning battles against Insecurity. I know that with Batman, my Justice League, and my personal accomplishments will give me strength to win the war.
I am a firm believer that you cannot know happiness without knowing gratitude.
We know happiness when we appreciate the good in our lives and the good inside of us. Understanding our happiness means that we put in the effort to be grateful for what we have.
We tend to always remember the lowest points in our lives and fail to remember our highest. It is when we remember our highest points that can help us feel better about our lives. It will illuminate our darkest tunnel to make it out okay.
You can sit there and be in a blanket of sorrow and despair, but just like staying in bed all day, nothing will get done. Gratitude is our morning coffee that gives our happiness, or the energy, to be productive for the day.
So today, tell yourself one thing you are grateful for. It may surprise you how good it can make you feel…
When I look to you,
My eyes can see your warmth.
No longer seeing blue.
And when I hear you speak,
Your voice sounds to me,
A cure for when I feel weak.
And when I begin to breathe deep,
My nose starts to believe,
That I must be asleep.
When I feel your kiss,
I taste a soft smile,
Because I know I’m in bliss.
But when I feel your touch,
My life begins to say
“I love you very much”
And when I’m in your hug,
How I’m home with you,
Is what my mind will always bug.
Never had I heard a song so beautiful and cried.
Specifically, I am referring to the one sung by Cristin Milioti on How I Met Your Mother.
There was no orchestra, just one instrument. That was it. Just Milioti and her ukulele.
She strung the strings softly, and her voice haunting yet beautiful.
The song reminded me of my boyfriend and a reflection of my love life. I couldn’t help but breakdown and cry and cry….
"Hold me close and hold me fast
The magic spell you cast
This is la vie en rose
When you kiss me, heaven sighs
And though I close my eyes
I see la vie en rose
When you press me to your heart
I’m in a world apart
A world where roses bloom
And when you speak, angels, sing from above
Everyday words seem
To turn into love songs
Give your heart and soul to me
And life will always be
La vie en rose”